Wedding bells: the princess dream of a feminist
I am a feminist. And I always wanted to get married and live the “princess” dream.
What does feminism mean for me? It means power, enablement, gender equality & gender rights, access to higher education, freedom to make your own choices, the right to your body, a career & pay equity.
On the other hand, my princess dream meant a beautiful ivory dress with lace, a husband in a blue suit, pastel flowers, wedding bells, a photo shoot, a symbolic ring, but also the symbolism of our love, engagement and happiness.
So are the two incompatible?
I am both an extrovert AND an introvert. I am a rational AND an emotional person. So why couldn’t both my feminist & my princess sides get along, right?
I am proud to call myself a feminist: I was raised by parents who both worked – by looking at my mother work full-time while taking care of us, I understood what women were capable of. My maternal grand mother was also on the labour market. Education was always very important for my parents, so I was encouraged to go to college and university. This allowed me to build a career, which to me is gratifying. It also allowed me to have a financial independence. I was brought up by a strong woman, and I believe I also became a strong and independent woman with opinions and the belief that gender equality is primordial for our society.
So despite the fact that I am a feminist whose parents are divorced, I always believed in marriage and I always wanted to marry the man of my life, when I found him. The aspects surrounding a wedding seem superficial, and perhaps they are to a certain extent. Because let’s admit it, many people spend a fortune on an event that will last a few hours at best. But I dreamed of that special day: the official exchange of a ring symbolizing your love, wearing the dress of my dreams, standing in front of the man I love, tears in our eyes. Immortalizing this day inevitably required a professional photographer, because you want to be able to cherish tangible memories of this moment, a moment filled with beauty and love.
Today, I am proud of my achievements: I am free to make my own choices, I have diplomas, I have a career, I have financial independence. I know I owe this freedom to my predecessors, and I know it has been a hard journey for them to acquire gender equality, so I am happy to be able, through my values and actions, to pursue their legacy.
But like many girls, I always fancied a beautiful wedding. So how did the feminist that I am managed to live my princess dream to the fullest while staying true to myself?
First, I didn’t have an unlimited budget, and my husband and I both agreed it wasn’t the smartest thing to spend ridiculous amounts of money on that ONE day of our lives. I always dreamed of a beautiful dress, but I was able to find MY perfect dress within a reasonable price range. I wanted to have a reception after the ceremony, so we opted for a small wedding, inviting only our immediate family, which allowed us to host it at our new house. This meant savings thousands of dollars on a reception hall and staff. A small party was more intimate and meant less money spent on food and champagne. I wanted to look beautiful, so my sister did my hair, and I loved it. I wanted a natural look, so I did my own makeup. We are not religious, so we had a civil ceremony. We all know city halls are often boring-looking, administrative buildings, and of course, I wanted a nice location so we opted for the city hall of Chambly, Quebec, a protected heritage building, built at the beginning of the 20th century. I was able to get married in a picturesque decor, and as the building is located by the water and near the Fort de Chambly, we had the perfect setting for our wedding pictures.
I have to admit that a significant percentage of our budget went towards the photographer, because I knew pictures would be one of our most cherished memories; it was a good investment. The photo shoot after the wedding was an amazing experience. We were surrounded by nature: sun, water and a picture-perfect green landscape.
Today we are celebrating our first year anniversary, and I will always remember this day as one of the most beautiful days of my life.
Extra: the budget details of my very own, affordable princess wedding:
- Wedding dress from David’s Bridal. $600
- Wedding rings: 600$
- Accessories: 350$
- Flower girls’ dresses: $200
- City hall of Chambly. 350$
- Photographer for 2 hours – Marï Photographe. 800$
- Caterer for 20 people – Bertrand le Traiteur. 750$
- Wine and champagne: 300$
- Flowers – Aura Design. $400
- Reception at our house: $0
- Hair and makeup: $0
- Decorations & Candy Bar – gift from my sister: $0
- Honeymoon to Rome & Elba Island (Italy), and Prague (Czech Republic): $6000
A few pictures of this beautiful day â¤